Listening to nothing

Am at work. Bleh. Ahahaha.

Singapore was fun! Managed to buy a couple of albums, but forgot about them and left them at the hotel. Couldn't find them after that when we returned. Bah. Am not happy with self.

Anyway, here's the lowdown for the weekend:
Warning: Very Very Long Entry. You have been warned
Friday night:
Had dinner with my dad at the SS2 mamak called Pelita. Managed to call my bro up in the UK and he told me to have fun and good luck in the tourney. Forgot my cap after dinner, ran back to the mamak and ended up vomitting after that. Reached Amcorp at about 2015hrs. Got a call from Ben about money exchange, which we all had promptly forgotten about. Hahaha. Took some pictures before leaving at 2130hrs. Said goodbyes to everyone, and Ben and I left for KL Sentral on the LRT. Thanks to the running, my stomach didn't end up too well, and I had bowel problems as well as vomitting problems.

We departed KL Sentral at about 22:30hrs, and got bored. After 1 game of Raw deal, we decided to move towards the dining coach, where we could play on proper tables rather than on Ben's bunk. I suppose we played on the train till about 0030hrs before getting some sleep. I can't remember. Bunk was pretty good actually. Quite comfortable. I slept like a log, except when I woke up at 0321hrs. According to Ben, our train had a faulty component (which I found out later at the immigration that the engine had problems). We gave Andy and Azmin calls, but the reception on the train was bad.

Saturday:
Anyway, we woke up at 0600hrs, and visited the dining coach once more. We playtested again and again, which resulted in me (FBI) winning about a good 85% of our matches. We arrived at Woodlands at 0845hrs, and proceeded across immigration without any problems. Bought a singaporean newspaper tabloid which was about 50% about the EPL. The rest were about internal singaporean news. Managed to see an article about deaths by road bullies in Malaysia though. cost me S$0.70 too. Took the bus to woodlands MRT station. Ben had breakfast at BK, and then we proceeded to board the MRT to reach Bugis Street. The whole journey on the MRT took us about 1 hour. Sheeesh. Had to change coaches at the City Hall station, but that wasn't too bad. After that, we had to find for the hotel. Wolf didn't mention exactly where the hotel was except that you get off Bugis St. and it's 10 minutes away from Suntec Mall. We walked a fair bit, and Ben was too in touch with his masculine side, so I did the asking for direction part. We found the hotel, took a bath (separately of course!) and proceeded to go to sleep (Hey, play testing on a train is tiring!). Andy called us up at 1320, and then I talked to Azmin about the directions to get to the hotel. Ben and I decided to take a walk and see Shaw Tower and Suntec City. Looks almost the same the last time I visited the place 2 years ago for my MTG Singapore Grand Prix.

We had lunch at the food court and proceeded to go back to the Con center to see where exactly the tourney is going to be held. We wanted to playtest, but Indiana Jones came on TV, so we chucked wrestling for some old school Harrison Ford action. Haha, as we were watching a fair bit of the movie, Azmin knocked on the door, signalling the arrival of the the rest of the team.

We ended watching Indie and deck constructing. Planned to go out after Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, but HBO was having an IJ marathon, so it was screening The Last Crusade. Bah. So we watched that and playtested.

The night was insteresting, at least we got a lot of playtesting out. Which we proceeded to bash each other's head in. Of course, having Freddy vs. Jason on the telly didn't help. The interesting thing is, Shaz fell asleep first, followed by Dawn. I think Andy went off next after Ben left him to join Azmin and myself in our separate room. We watched the EPL game that night between Everton and Aston Villa, which for some odd reason got cutoff because the hotel didn't pay the channel. We watched Totenham vs. Fulham. Bleh match.

Went to sleep rather late, but was satisified knowing that Everton won 3-1.

Sunday:
Tourney day! Azmin was supposed to wake up at 0600 but he slept till 0730. Ben was the earliest at 0700. Myself? Why get out of bed early when you don't have to. Hahahaha. Managed to chat up with the locals about MULTIS and 0 superstarvalue characters :D

Tourney proceeded well actually.
Round 1: vs Crippler
I know how the deck works. Of course, I tried to intimidate the opponent :D MULTI!!! screams and shouts were heard all around the area. Whee! Won on count-out after I stuck EVERY maneuver I had against him.

Round 2: vs Goldberg
Funny story this is. I played Raleigh, NC, Backstage Politics, Managed by Theodore Long, Summerslam and Glass Ceiling. Go me! Those who play the game will understand. Proceeded to beat him down with MULTIS!!!

Round 3: Vs TMPT
I got It's all about the Gamed. Needless to say, I went pretty well, until he stole my BSP to hit me with a ringside Military Slam.

Round 4: Vs Evolution
1st turn for him = Vinny Mac Interferes + 360 Degrees Clothesline. He then proceeded to knock me off my feet with more irreversible maneuvers before I finally undermined him. Proceeded to kill him because he didn't have any fortitude.

Round 5: Vs Rock
I had ALL my manuevers on the table. I couldn't get any heat cards into the ringside to reverse the affect of Brahma Bull. Sigh. I FRIGGIN' HATE FRIGGIN' STALL ROCK!!!! Ended up reversing Shoot Headlock 12 times before he pinned me.

Round 6: Vs Shawn Michaels
My handsize got raped with all the PRS + raw logo combo. She got legs for a 18 damage wheelbarrow slam ended the FBI's match.

Round 7: Vs Edge
I told my opponent that I was pissed because I am 3-3, so I threatened him with the fact that I will whack his ass with MULTIs so bad it would hurt so bad that he won't be able to sit for the next few days. Or something to that extent. I Multied him all the way, while he stole my ability with White Wedding. But it doesn't matter...

Well, end of tourney report. Got a Rey Mysterio GRA and Kurt Angle foil (which I traded for Mountain of a Man)...

Hahahaha... maybe I'll write about more stuff later, but I think that's for a later post. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~~~~~~

Listening to Azmin yawning

We're in Singapore! w00t! Bought some CDs, getting prepped for tomorrow's tourney!

A shout out for all those who are supporting us from across the causeway!!! Anyway, I think we'll be able to buy some sort of souvenier for you folks. Chocs i think.

There isn't much time,
For me to write a rhyme

Status: Apprehensive
Dinner was BURGER KING! Damn you Ben! But it was nice :)

Listening to the click-clack of my keyboard

Something I got off my friend's livejournal:

(1): What celebrity do you associate me with?
(2): If I was a villain who would I be?
(3): What song reminds you of me?
(4): If I was a color what would I be?
(5): Describe me in THREE words.
(6): What movie reminds you of me?
(7): What BAND/ARTIST reminds you of me?
(8): If I was a super-hero who would I be?
(9): Would you ever punch me?
(10): Would you ever date me?
(11): Quick, what number am I?

Have fun!

BTW, I think I may have recovered from the bout of depression. Thanks to all those who showed their concern. Yay!

Forgot to add my rhyme/poem posting:
There was this couple John walked past,
Looked like they were having quite a blast.
he took a revolver and in the head,
he shot them 3 times before they were dead.
John laughed and giggled at the fact,
he killed 2 people without tact.
So he pointed the gun at his neck,
He pulled the trigger and that was that.

The End. Nonsensical rhymes are fun!

Status: Happy
Lunch was McD's. Prosperity burger is so messy and heavy and peppery. Peach orange sundae on the other hand is very nice.

Listening to...

I spy with my own two eyes,
The view of me and my demise.


Frustrated and depressed
No lunch. Not hungry

Listening to ...

*Sigh*

I thought about it, and I must say that it is easier for me to say things through a computer than it is face to face. I don't know, but hiding my face behind the anonimity of a monitor gives me some form of comfort.

No, I'm not talking about being a stalker.

It's just that when you are behind a computer, your facial expressions do not betray you. You can tell a perfectly good lie, and get away with it. You can wince at the computer and nobody will notice. Well, except the other people in the cybercafe or in the office, but that's a different matter.

*Sigh*

I guess it's one of those ranting moments. Let me wallow in my self pity. Maybe I'll look back in the future and read this entry and laugh and think how pathetic I was at that point in time... Or maybe not. I am not trying to draw sympathy, but I suppose the fact that I'm writing this on a public blog means there's some part of me that wants the attention.

*Sigh*

I'm boring. Never bringing something new. The same thing rehashed over and over again. I lack excitement. It hurts to say it, but I am not like other 'happening' people. I'm not like Wolf, not like Azmin, not like Shaz, not like Andy, Triona, Dawn, Joe, Raj, Fiezan, Bryan, and thinking about it, not like Eisu, Aimo, Zid, Reins, Laine, etc. I am me. I'm dull. Hell, even Ian brings something new. I don't do this. I don't do that. I won't do this. I won't do that. People say that I'm a nice guy... But as a nice guy I just won't do the stuff 'bad boys' do.

*Sigh*

Status: depressed
Breakfast was 2 servings of Curry Mee with kuih bakar. I think I'll skip lunch.

Listening to ...




Depress-O-meter reading : 90%

...
...
...

Maybe later.

Mind not thinking sanely at the moment. Feeling rather... unusual.

There was this little girl,
She went around the world,
She met a tiger,
which promptly bit her,
And now she's at the funeral.

There was a little dog,
who lived in a bog.
A cook found it,
by no mean feat,
and now it's a hotdog.

There was a little boy,
who was rather shy and coy.
on christmas a troll,
gave him a doll,
he fucked the fucking toy!

There was an young spinster,
whose job was to serve some beer.
One day she was stalked,
And while she walked,
the stalker took advantage and raped her.

There was this crazy loon,
Who liked to imitate some toons.
He jumped off a building,
With a car as the point of landing.
Let's just say he arrived with a boom.

There was this young man from Clove,
He fell quite a bit in love.
But he was rejected,
And was feeling quite dejected.
He drowned himself in a cove.

There was another man from Clove,
He too fell in love,
But the girl liked another man,
And that's when the shit hit the fan.
For off a 30 storey building he dove.

There was a fair young lady,
who was killed in a car tragedy.
She got rather pissed off,
And continued to kill off,
All the poeple she sees.

Status: Rather depressed
Lunch in a few minutes time

Listening to Lonely No More - Rob Thomas

Trying out this Launchcast thing on Yahoo. It's not too bad actually :D

Had lunch outside of the office today. Where? In PJ. Why? Because I had to get some signatures from TNB. Had lunch with Azmin and Triona. Came back to office a bit later than expected, but all's cool.

Preparation for Singapore is still underway. Don't know if any of my decks will do well, but I am seriously testing them.

So many choices. So little time. So much metagame.
I'm not sure whether to play as the FBI, Al Snow, A-Train, or Nidia. If Nidia could actually win any games, she would be in the top 8 just because of the diversity rules. FBI is quite strong, but not consistent enough against certain deck arctypes. Al Snow is partially vulnerable. Not really, but he is kind of vulnerable. He may have some problem matchups. A-Train is very good and consistent, but geared towards being very agro. Which hurts sometimes.

---

Maybe I'm writing nonsensical stuff too much, too often. But hey, this is my blog! Ahahahahha.
Surely you jest. A fair amount of what's in your head is nonsensical.
A fair amount you say? I doubt you understand my mind.
Of course I do. I'm your inner voice, aren't I?
You may be just that. And you may not. What if you are a figment of my imagination?
And a talking inner voice isn't? Anyway, you should be more careful. You throw caution to the wind like you throw away snot-filled tissues.
So, what do you expect me to do? Become a hermit and live in on the mountain somewhere and find the meaning of life, the universe and everything?
That joke's been done. Try something original.
I could try to continue to create my brand of humor...
I've heard you brand of humor. The only thing that would laugh at your jokes are hyenas. And that's because they're born like that.
That's plain mean.
I'm just stating the truth. You have to admit that your jokes aren't funny.
You're just jealous.
*Sigh*. You just suck.
Anyway, back to something else
Changing the subject? No matter. Whatever you do, you will always inherently be bad at it.
Ouch! That's a dirty low blow.
You're musically handicapped. Tone deaf AND out of tune. You can't play a musical instrument. You have no rhythm.
That hurts.
You can't dance. Or at least show that you can. I've only seen you break into one of the oldies style. Bad bad bad.
Go easy will ya?
No, I won't go easy. You have the charm of a rock. Hell, even a rock has more charm than you. Your writing is limited, your rhymes too nonsensical. You lack concentration.
No I don't! That's one thing that I don't lack
Only if the subject is something that you want. Like games and work. Otherwise, your concentration goes out of the window. Anyway, enough with the interruptions. Next you crack jokes so lame even corpses are more lively. Seriously. Showing intelligence goes a good distance.
Ouch!
And last but not least, you procrastinate on important things. And lack the will and motivation to continue something. Have you done ANY of your new year's resolutions? Started on any? I know that for certain you haven't started on at least 3 items there.
Ugh! Vision blurry. Must get oxygen! Too much information. Can't take it... head exploding...
And that's a fact!

---

With my very own nose I smell,
the stench of corruption that swells.


Status: Tired
Lunch was Chinese fried rice that doesn't taste anything like CFR. Bleh.

Listening to Russian Winter Night - tracked by Jocker

Forgot to write a rhyme/poem for the day... so am adding one now

A real man doesn't cry they say,
But I just saw one did, the other day.
He's a manly as a man could ever be.
With a bright mind, a splendid visionary.
What caused him to break down into tears?
What can cause so much pain? So much fear?
Love's the word, as you might guess
Is it an obstacle? Or a real life test?
He should give himself time to think it over,
Mayhaps in time he'll feel much better.






The weekend was rather exciting. Not the usual ho hum of the week.

<RL>A bird just flew into the office room. It looks lost</RL>

Hm.. let's see where to start...

Friday night:
Grabbed my deck and went playtesting. And playtested we did. At his place. All the way till 7:15 am in the morning.

Saturday morning:
Felt a bit tired, but joined the rest for breakfast. Finished with breakfast and then went home. Slept at 8:40 am. Woke up at 1:24 pm. Got bored with the missing internet. Couldn't play my PS2 because the AV cable's being lent to someone. No problem... So guess what I did? I switched on my computer and started playing Chrono Trigger. And FF6. Hahahahahaha. Classics. Gave Triona a lift and went to Amcorp. By 7pm everybody who's going to Dawn's housewarming party had arrived at the shop, so we left. Thanks to Michael's need for petrol (or rather his car), we got a bit lost. Hahaha. Arrived at Dawn's new place in time and had a great dinner. Yum :9 I was feeling a bit under the weather, so while everyone else was having fun, I got some shut eye. Played a bit of Tai Ti, and poker, but left around 11:30 pm. Almost fell asleep at the wheel on the way back because I had to drive about 70-80 km/h getting Michael to trail my car. Slept at around midnight.

Sunday afternoon:
Woke up in the afternoon, about 12:45pm. Ugh. Got into the shower, and then continued playing FF6 till about 2 before receiving a message from Triona. Went to the shop, had lunch, and found out that she and her yet-to-be-named-band had left for their first jamming session. Hahah. Then, found out that the place they went to had some technical difficulties, so they had to go elsewhere. Since there were no card-flopping wrestlers around to playtest my decks, I decided to join them for the jam session. I have to admit, that while it was a very enjoyable one hour, my ears were ringing after the whole thing. The songs practised were "Smells like teen spirit by Nirvana", "All the things by Blink182" and a song by Kitty (an all girls punk band). The band had cohesion, and I see that things will only get better. It was quite a good session actually, not that I have any experience... Let's see:
Ezani aka Blur - Bassist
Michelle - Lead guitarist
Triona - Lead vocal
Shukri - Drums
Ryan - Pimping Manager (seriously!)
Ahmad - Technical assistant/Sub-manager/Band Driver
Had good fun all around.
Drove everyone to Amcorp, playtested some more with my deck. Got beaten up by Loco's Undertaker. And I mean 6 feet under kind of beaten up.

Had dinner, talked more about the Singapore trip, and went back home at 9:30pm. Played more FF6, and went to sleep at 12:45am.

Phew!

Status: Refreshed
Breakfast was laksa. I can't believe it! Laksa in the morning? Blasphemy~

Listening to Can't you feel the love tonight - Sir Elton John

Finished some work earlier today. Lots of leg work.

Wheee!!! It's almost the weekend! More playtesting! More games!

I guess I give up on the drawing thingie (that was rather quick-inner self). There's no inspiration/mouse sucks.

Looks like things are getting interesting with the whole thing with the Singapore trip coming up. Current confirmed players roster:

Mudster
Sleepy Jedi
Antudollah
Judge Ben
Y2J

Each will be bringing a different deck. The best that they have. And each will open a can of WHOOPASS on the Singaporeans!!! W00t! (To Singaporeans reading this: I am not belittling you guys... just motivating us Malaysians)

Kinda bored, but can't do much at the moment. Don't know what time I can get off today.

The windy cool wind whispers in my ears:
Stop thinking, stop crying, and dry those tears.
Take the one step that you must take.
Break the one promise you must break.
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE

Hahahaha perfectly nonsensical.

Wanted to post something earlier today, but couldn't get the chance. But now that I do have the chance... Here it is. Got it off a link in my friend's blog. Excellent link with ALL the title songs.

Remember this tagline before?
Are you E?

A cookie for someone who remembers!

Status: Anxious
Lunch was more nasi campur with sarsi cordial

Listening to Sway - Bic Runga

Let's write some more!

Recently, I have redeveloped the bad habit of biting my nails. People say you do that when under stress or when you're nervous. Maybe I am. Am I insecure? Mucho to think about. Maybe I just feel like munching somethng, and that's the only "edible" thing around :D

Ladida. Bored. Bored. Bored.

Don't know what to do in the office. Waiting for 6 pm to come. Maybe a bit later since I came to the office a bit late this morning. Got some work done. And my target for the day is finished.

So, what am I doing right now? Deck research for the tourney. Heh.

Azmin just went idle on me after lunch. Damn you Salazar!

Bored.

I'm keeping myself amused by typing out this entry actually. Zzzzzz.

Singapore! Singapore! Singapore!

I plan to buy a cameraphone in the very near future. Why? Mainly because I don't have a camera of my own. And I need one. I wonder if I can transfer from phone to computer without the use of an infrared port...

I't 4:57 now. This entry's been waiting for about 2 hours... Wow.

More Zzzz...

Fuck the world!

Just wanted to say that.

I wonder how my bro's doing in the UK. Haven't heard from him recently.

5:11 now. Bleh.

Bored as hell. Not that I know hell can be boring.

*Sigh*

5:20 now...

Yes, do continue reading my inane blog entry.

I want to go into deep sleep.
I can't because all the sheep
were sheep-napped and taken away
to a land which is far far away.
A land where the cows could fly,
A place where people never die.
There's the cat with the fiddle
Making disco girls giggle.
The fork and spoon that eloped,
and got high on some dope.
And the nasty old woman who lived in shoe.
Whose kids were ruffians, and vagabonds too.
And little Ms Red Riding Hood,
who likes to stroll in the woods.
She met a wolf in a clearing.
On her way to grandma who's hard of hearing.
She chatted up with the big bad wolf.
Whom she then karate chopped with a loud Boof!
How am I to sleep with my sheeps being taken
To a place twisted from the stories for children?

Status: Bored
Lunch was more nasi campur!

Gninetsil ot Ton Annog Teg Su - T.A.T.U.

I ma gnipyt siht ni esrever ylniam esuaceb I nac. Derob. Helb.

Sutats: Derob
Hcnul ni 03 hsi-setunim

Listening to Walla Walla (live)- The Offspring

She seemed to have caught the Suikoden bug :D
Playstation 1: RM 300 (i think, God, it's so long ago, I can't remember the price)
Suikoden 1 CD: RM 10 (So long ago before CDs became cheap)
Memory Card: RM 40 (Now it's RM 10-15 i think)
Transforming a non-VG gamer into a VG-Gamer: Priceless :P

Which brings me down to this: I should dust off my PS2 and play Suiko3. And start on Suiko 4 after that. Still, I miss the old school suiko sprite rpg. Well, I think I should just get used to it...

Internet's out at home. Bah. Can't play World of Warcraft... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHH!!!

Couldn't sleep early last night. Tossed and turned for about an hour or so. Bleh. I might be thinking of something, but who knows? I sure can't remember.

It takes me about 1 hour to post each blog entry it seems. Unless it's really short. Bleh.

Onto more important things!

<idea>
Let's talk about something fluffy. Hm...

Let's make a story for a game idea.

Hero:
There's this man (ooh tragic hero) who lives in this really dire part of a city. He was a high ranking officer in the previous war against another city, which he won, but not without cost. He had to use some forbidden magiks in order to win, and caused the opposing city's inhabitants to be eaten by unworldly monsters. The guilt is unbearable, but he can't kill himself. Well, he tried, but the monsters somehow fused with him and he's stuck with an immortal body. What he doesn't know is that the monsters are taking over his body in order to come into the real world. He's kind of old, has an unshaven beard and looks like a mess. However, he is a man of honour and dignity, even after what he had done in the past. Motivation: guilt

Heroine:
The heroine totally abhors the hero. She hates him because her family was in the city that was destroyed. She doesn't know about the whole hero-monster fusion until much later in the story. Interestingly enough, unlike most stories whereby the heroine will fall in love with the hero, she does not. She is willing to do anything to kill the hero. Motivation: revenge

Villain:
Can't think of a real villain as of yet. Must make him a tragic villain, i.e. villain of circumstances. A survivor of of the destroyed city bent on killing the hero, but chooses the same wrong method as the hero to kill him. Motivation: revenge
</idea>


Why is it called Butterflies? Well, I thought it would represent the change between one phase to the next and not many things are more colorful than butterflies. But the colors that came out were dull, which means that the changes were not so bright as they would seem to be.

Actually I would love draw some character design and ideas for buildings and all that, but with a mouse and no tablet, it's a fair bit difficult.

Rhyme time

The 31st of October is Halloween.
When ghosts and spirits and all inbetweens,
come out of the dark recesses of the mind,
to feast upon the blissful mankind.
The three eyed ghost would look and see,
And eat the flesh of young boys with glee.
The blue furred monster would chomp you up!
And chew your bones into a pulp.
The monster under the bed will grab you easy.
And pull you under, and have you for tea.
But scariest of all is the dreaded boogeyman.
whose unlife story has been banned.
from being told to any small child.
for it is frightening, and definitely not mild.
He stalks his victims, making them uneasy.
Many can't stand his stare, if not any.
His methods are unkind and most cruel.
Fright and fear became his fuel
He relishes on the fact that people.
Are scared of him and turn quite feeble.
Once in a while he'll meet a hero.
And then he'll kill him, making it one-zero.
He's been defeated before that's for sure.
But is never totally gone, not forever.

Status: I wanna play Suiko 3!
Skipped breakfast

Listening to Lying From You - Linkin Park



Status: Recovering
Lunch in 15 minutes!

Listening to Faith - Limp Bizkit

Gray: Color of Uncertainty


Red: Color of Anger


Green: Color of Envy


Purple: Color of Confuzzlement


Now that I'm in the mood, I think I might do two more things per blog entry.
1. Draw something with Open Canvas
2. Write a rhyme/poem

It's a bit of extra work, but I think it should be fun. At least for a short while to keep myself amused.

The door opens to the sky,
Grow a pair of wings and fly.
Go ahead, reach out and touch someone
for you can never can when she is gone.
Cry as you may, when a person is dead
you can never get her out of your head.
No amount of tears will bring her back,
All because of the will that you lack.
The door of opportunity comes once in a lifetime.
Don't ever forget, for that is a crime.
Tell someone that you love her,
And do not quit, not ever.
As much as you may think it's all gone.
When it's too late, you will be forlorn.

Status: Better
Breakfast was fried meehoon. And it was one of the best I've tasted in quite awhile

Listening to Without Me - Eminem

Got bored in the office... So I drew these things up!

Orange: Color of Passion


Blue: Color of Sadness


Yellow: Color of Happiness

Listening to Symfonie in C Major - ElbiE^t13N! (1999)



Bored. Bored as hell. Sheesh. Another rhyme! Blasphemous rhyme this time around.

The revenge of the dead is upon the living,
The dead comes forth, and so does the undying.
Hands of hell, touch my breast.
Bring thyself to this unholy crest.
Come forth the sacrificial virgin!
Place thyself on this altar sanguine.
Oh unholy spirit from the nethers of hell!
Unleash thy fury with the strike of this bell.
Let loose the horrors of the dead.
Upon the living, and upon the dead.
Destroy them all, oh great beast.
Make them suffer for their bliss.
Crush them in thy powerful fists.
Make them suffer with thy rotting mist.
Come upon the world in the blaze of hell.
All that's good will not end well.

Second rhyme! Wow.

Once upon a time there was a little boy,
He loved his parents, his house, his toys.
But what he did not know was this:
His toys had souls, and good was amiss
in their little hearts of plastic and wood.
For all they can do is be glum and brood.
Now one fine day, the boy went to school.
To play with friends, to be a little cool.
His living toys felt a fair bit jilted.
For he left them at home, all wrecked and twisted.
So when he came back to the house he loved.
His toys took the kitchen knives and he was carved.

Third poem. The second rhyme didn't particularly ended well enough for my liking. Well, that's what you get for 5 minute rhymes.

I woke up from this dreadful slumber of mine.
Where I dreamt of two friends.
One proposed to the other.
And the second couldn't stop crying.
They looked so happy together,
But I felt vengeful.
I strangled the man,
His expression was one of shock, suprise and horror.
My hands couldn't stop shaking, but I continued to suffocate him.
He begs as his knees go limp.
I didn't let go.
His face turns purple
I didn't let go.
He chokes.
I didn't let go.
He dies.
I didn't let go.
And then I woke up.

Something less depressing for the fourth poem.

I had a friend.
His name was Glenn.
He's smart and funny.
And way not like me.
He makes pretty good jokes.

And is friends with the blokes.
Unlike little old me.
Who's only friend is Marty.
A little snot-nosed kid.
Who cries and bleed.
I look up to Glenn,
whom I thought as a friend.
I gave up on Marty.
who would always kill a party.
But on one fine Sunday noon,
Glenn's went off to the moon.
His father had a transfer.
A job change, the gaffer.
And so, I was left all alone.
I cried and cried and cried and moan.
A happy clown came and asked me why.
Was my eyes so wet and why I cried.
I told the clown I was feeling sad.
Because I had no more friends, which is bad.
He took up my hand and told me this:
Don't worry little boy, you make a wish.
I can make you happy as you want to be.
Or I can make you as sad as you want to be.
I said I want to be happy and not frown.
He said, "Follow me then, I'm Pennywise the Clown."

Shock ending! I bet most of you can get the reference :D Just wanted to do a rhyme with a clown in it. Still bored... wait I see it... maybe number 5?

I hear with my own two ears,
The spits, the boos, and the overwhelming jeers

I think I overdid it. Can't produce any more at the moment.

Status: Bored... partially depressed, but well on the road of recovery.
Lunch in an hour

Listening to nada

Sorry for the influx of really crappy writing yesterday. Well, I'm a bit better better today. More sober as most would put it. If anybody's worried, please accept my apologies for making you worried. If anybody's unhappy with my entries, please accept my apologies too.

I just felt like venting that's all.

Status: Less depressed. A bit more happy.
Breakfast was Curry Laksa Mee and warm water

Listening to Dancing Mad - Nobuo Uematsu

Red.

That was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. My head hurts, like as though it's been hit by a ton of bricks. Everything's fuzzy, but the redness is still apparent.

I reached out to touch it.

Wet.

I immediately panicked.

Bodies. Bodies everywhere. All friends. All gone. My hands were stained with the blood of my friends. I scream in anguish and smashed my head against the floor. As I lay prone, the warmness of the fresh blood flows out of my wound and joins my friends'.

The End.

Status: Still Fucking Depressed
1-2 hours before dinner

Listening to Better Man - Robbie Williams

More thinking. Different subject.
You know something's wrong with you if everyone regards you as only a friend. Friend. FRIEND. fRIenD. FrIEND. fRiend. Nothing less. But nothing more either.

Jokes. Fun. Fooling around. But never crossing that line.

Tried to cross that line in high school. But it didn't work out.
Tried to cross that line in college. But it didn't work out.
Tried to cross that line in university. But it didn't work out.
Tried to cross that line in working life. But it didn't work out.

Friends remain friends. But it doesn't go anywhere.

Status: Sprialling downwards on the emotional roller coaster
It's still early for the next meal

Listening to Numb - Linkin Park (None of that Encore version)

Well, something bright happened today. The project that I've been slaving for the last couple of months has passed the first phase. Which means that I will have mminimal involvement with it anymore. However, I still have another project to take over the slot, but with this done and over with, I'm a happier person.

But not happy enough.

*Sigh*

I also apologize to all those involved in yesterday's event. I should have seen it coming.

Status: Still Fucking Depressed... with a better feeling.
Haven't had anything since lunch. It's only been 2 hours+

Listening to Sephia - Sheila on 7

Tried sleeping things off, but things remained pretty much the same. Can't stop thinking about some stuff.

The more I write the more I feel down.

I think the feeling that I'm having right now is messed up, but I can't really think straight. The only I have for me right now is work. Even that's not...

I think I know what I'm feeling.

Jealousy and Envy. And feeling guilty about them.

Never thought I could feel that way, but I am. And it hurts.

Status: Still fucking depressed
Lunch was nasi campur and sarsi cordial

Was listening to Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Ella Fitzgerald


You scored as Strength. Divinatory Meaning: Intention is cause. Energy follows thought. Power without control is nothing.
Reverse Meaning: Too emotional. Not thinking things through.
You are impulsive and exciting. Some view you as reckless and inconsiderate. You draw people to you with your enthusiasm for life...however there is deeper side to you that you only reveal to a choice few if any.
Which of the Major Arcana are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Instant messenger log. Username changed to protect the persons involved. I don't think anybody wants to be disturbed online.

Myself: dude
Myself: heya
Azmin : Ha ha
Myself: hi triona! if you're reading this too
Myself: and loco
Azmin : hi
Azmin : was that
Myself: heh
Azmin : Triona said that
Myself: Sorry folks. feeling rather utterly depressed at the moment. Can't say I'm going to be good company
Azmin : why lah dude
Myself: just something
Myself: don't worry about it..
Myself: haha making myself sound like a tragic victim
Myself: and making you guys listening to me talking crap
Myself: Can you just continue chatting with me into tomorrow?
Azmin : sure man
Azmin : are we starting a new scrabble thingie?
Myself: thanks
Myself: don't know
Myself: you can create the game first
Myself: so what are you guys doing over there?
Azmin : we are chatting right now
Azmin : with you
Myself: t5hat's nice
Azmin : and creating my avatar
Myself: heh
Myself: you know sometimes... when you do something, you're fucked
Myself: and when you do do something, you're fucked
Azmin : whadda
Myself: and when you do something, you think about it, and you regret ever doing it, but you can't change the fact that you have done it?
Azmin : of course
Myself: you know how much you want to change the past but you know you really can't.
Azmin : life's a bitch, you gotta fuck her...
Myself: then things in the present situation changes because of that thing you did
Myself: thanks loco
Azmin : just have to learn to move on...
Azmin : look forward, not backward
Azmin : can't change the past
Azmin : live with it, accept it
Myself: as much as you want to, i don't think it'll ever go away
Azmin : everyone's coming off a bad episode now ahmad. so am i. just cos i smile all the time don't meean i'm ok.
Azmin : "i carry a smile when i'm broken in two"
Myself: you think of the days when things were simpler
Myself: "but my smile's broken too"
Myself: nice critch
Myself: *crotch
Azmin : check it out man
Myself: *laughs*
Azmin : check out my avatar
Azmin : ....sssss..........
Azmin : My precioussssssssssssssss
Myself: i see only a crotch
Myself: heh
Azmin : uh... yeah
Azmin : that's the point
Azmin : as per locs
Myself: ha ha
Myself: sorry, can't really smile at the moment.
Myself: btw, happy valentine's day loco
Myself: happy valentine's day azmin
Myself: happy valentine's day triona
Azmin : is this why you're depressed?
Myself: partially, but not really it
Myself: got so many things in my head at the moment... it's a bit overwhleming. and depressing
Azmin : uh... okay...
Myself: i'm beginning to rant
Myself: and as much as i know you guys are trying to help me out, i
Myself: am the only person who can really help myself
Myself: I've got it bad for you Valentine . . .and that's gooood.
Myself: whoops
Myself: lol
Myself: ok i think i'm gonna sleep this off
Azmin : alright dude
Myself: you guys have fun, ok?
Myself: just don't let my bit of depression infect you
Myself: btw can i post this chat log on my blog?
Myself: just to remind myself of the words of wisdom?

Status: UTTERLY FUCKING DEPRESSED
Dinner was rice + Tom Yam with lime juice

Listening to 1985 - Bowling for Soup

Spent the morning playtesting my 2 wrestling decks for Asian qualiifiers. Quite interesting battles againts some decks.

Crap. Recently every time I write something in my blog, I feel depressed. I can guess why, but it's really screwed up. A blog shouldn't self-censored. It's supposed to be a place of opinions and controversy. But I guess there's a limit...

Should stop feeling depressed, but it's a bit tad difficult.

Alright! *Shakes head and slaps face*

*Sigh*

Status: Depressed
Lunch was bland tasteless fried noodles

Listening to An Old Irish Song - Gensou Skuikoden OST (tracked by DarkHero)

Gong Xi Fa Chai!!!

Yes it's Chinese New Year! Not that I really do celebrate it, but yeah, I hope to wish everyone who do celebrate it a Happy CNY and may you guys have a prosperous year ahead of you!

W00t.

Anyway, am at the office at the moment. Kinda bored. Waiting for an email reply from Austria. Bleh.

It's been an interesting life so far. Many ups. Many downs. Many boring in-betweens. Here's a toast to life. Good night folks.

I spy with my own two eyes
A world full of hypocritical lies


Status: Anticipative and depressed.
Lunch was honey chicken with rice

Listening to... nothing, again

The last week of February will see a contigent of Malaysian Wrestlers going over to Singapore to beat some Singaporean wrestlers. Well, not exactly. Actually, it's just a tourney to decide who will win the Wrestlemania placing for the Asian Qualifiers slot.

Currently our group is at 5 people.

Still trying to figure out possible places to stay amongst other things. Playtesting is also top priority.

Weekend was not too bad. Managed to...
a) Get some sleep
b) Have some World of Warcraft time
c) Be a pirate
d) Playtest wrestling
e) Cycle for another 47km.

This week will be a bit slow for me... Nobody's gonna be around for CNY. *Sniff*

Status: tired and sleepy
Lunch was nasi campur

Listening to nothing really

More rhymes! This is not a sexist rhyme, please. It's all for good fun!


I simply must know the reasoning behind
the complex nature of the woman's mind.
A simple word that their mouth can say
can mean so many things, like shades of gray.
They ever rarely get to the point,
especially when they want a man's loin.
The female gender is hard to understand,
The dinner, the dance, the one night stands.
My head feels dizzy when I think about it,
The pressure in my brain, it makes me bleed.
But even with all that pain that I receive,
Women are to be loved, that's what I believe.

Listening to Forever Friends - (c)1998 Victor Vergara

Bleh. Tired with work. Need to update my time sheet after this. Bah.

I played an 8-player boggle game last night and didn't manage to win 1 at all. Except for the last one where I had 26 points and the runner up had maybe... 17 or so points. I was lucky I guess.

Anyway... kinda bored. Want to update something here but I don't know what to write. Maybe a play of words perhaps? Or another rhyme?

How many times have you heard yourself say,
I want to disappear, I want to run away.
I want to lose myself in a long lost dream.
Where everything's cherry, like pie and cream.
A place where I am happy and one can never be sad,
A place that can only be heard in stories before bed.
But you know that such a place doesn't exists,
but you try to get away anyway, for ignorance is bliss.
You go through withdrawal,
You feel sad and emotional,
You feel numb from the pain,
Like as though there's nothing to gain.
Maybe if you stop and listen for awhile,
Call up a friend with the phone and just a quick dial.
You could figure it all out,
Or perhaps you may not.
Whatever it is, it is good to let someone know,
because the hurt is like cancer, waiting to grow.
It will infect your heart, making it twisted.
Making you the person that you never knew existed.
So please, please, if you have a situation,
Do tell a friend and don't let it grow out of proportion.
Maybe it's time to move on with your life.
Amongst all the chaos and all the strife.
Perhaps at a point in time you can't think rationally,
thinking perhaps of brutality or even fatality.
Just think of your friends who would always be there.
To take away that pain away and make it easier to bear.

Listening to Better Man - Robbie Williams

I'm tired. And sleepy. Really didn't have enough sleep over the weekend. I got to stop doing these late morning "staying awake" sessions. I think my body can't take it any more. Fatigue kicks in, and I sleep in the office. :(

Even right now my head's woozy. Next time I should just say no. Maybe. Or at least leave early.

Anyway, to those who were at Azmin's place for the holiday, how was it?

Tired mixed with sleepy with a tinge of depression for taste.
Lunch was... oh my, I can't remember what it was @_@