Murder. Death. Kill

Pardon the incoherency of this posting. I am typing out as I think, so it may be a bit jumbled up.

When you are alone, you tend to think too much. I think I've said this previously some couple of months ago. Maybe a bit longer than a couple of months. You'd think so much, that you start thinking about something that you shouldn't have thought about. Perhaps something forbidden. Taboo.

On a different matter, I think I was rather harsh on Sunday morning (at about 2a.m.) to a bunch of people. I was rather cranky mainly because of lack of energy and being sleepy at the same time. I apologize to those whom I had offended, escpecially to Kuok because I snapped at him. Sorry dude.

My thoughts at the moment are incoherent at best. Chaos at worst. Lots of things to think about. To do. I don't know, I think I am getting offended easier nowadays than I was a year ago. Has my level of tolerance dropped that drastically? I can easily let something slide, a remark and all that, but nowadays I'll fight back. Is it a good change? Or a bad one? Only time will tell.

I think I need to take a look back at my grassroots. Why am I the person I am? Why am I not like everyone else? Lots of rhetorics, but I really need to ask myself this. Why am I so enclosed with my own space? Maybe it's because I have no exciting stories to tell. Maybe I don't want people to find out the person I really am. Maybe behind this innocent looking mask is a spawn of evil waiting to be unleashed.

I really don't know. I think that I'm losing my grip of reality at times. I want to hang on, but it's slipping away from my fingers. Little by little, bit by bit. I wonder if I'm insecure about things.

Is it because I try to be nice to everyone that everyone wants to step on me? At every opportunity is someone trying to take advantage of me? Am I becoming paranoid?

I don't recall being like this when I was younger. Am I evolving? Or am I devolving?

Or am I just a sad sod trying to gain attention?

I'm tired. Lethargic. Let me rest.

Status: Lost
Lunch in a while