Listening to Running - No Doubt

So far the weekend has been crap. Real bullcrap kind of crap. I want to sleep, but I can't. And I won't. At least not now.

So many things to think about. Nothing's ginving me any directions in my life. Too experimental.

I think that's the reason why I play so many games. Escapism. I guess I am afraid. Each time I try, it hurts. Seeing other people hurts.

I hate being angry. I hate raising my voice. I hate to release my anger. I don't ever want anybody to see me when I am totally uninhibited. Mainly because I don't know what I am capable of.

Sometimes, I feel like I want to get away. From everything. The hurt. People. Everything. But everytime I will convince myself that I am a coward to do so. Stand up and fight for your right I suppose. The guilt of not doing so hurts as much.

I guess sometimes I have to learn to let go. A dream remains a dream. The past is the past. Physical pain is so beautiful sometimes. It makes you forget for that short moment about the emotional ones that you have to suffer.

I took a loaded gun and put it to my head,
then I pulled the trigger and soon I'm dead.

Status: Not so good. Having this painful feeling in my chest.
Dinner was fried rice and cincau